Archive: Lucas Turned 5



1st birthday: had a party, he cried and broke out in hives...tasted his cake after everyone left, gagged and threw up chocolate frosting all over mommy
2nd birthday: we had a party, he panicked when we brought the cake in and sang
3rd birthday: We stuck a candle in a quesadilla (he obviously doesn’t like cake...right??), didn’t have a lot of people over, he seemed happier, didn’t like happy birthday song
4th birthday: wait...maybe he doesn’t like fire???? (DUH!!!) bought a cookie cake because he likes cookies this year. No lit candle. He seems happier, but says “want a cupcake!”
5th birthday: he can answer questions!!!!!! (Thank you, world's best SLP!!) Mom knows that he wants a cake...whether BIG or small and even what color because he can tell me!!!!! He busts into the cake the day before and we have a blast. We don’t light the candle (I asked him to be sure). We don’t have people over for a loud party. We sing happy birthday and he claps and dances. He shoves cake in his mouth then sings the whole happy birthday song to himself.

Yay, Lucas!!! How lucky am I that this sweet boy can communicate. Happy little guy and a BIG white cake.



Musings from just prior to his birthday: 

It was just about 5 years ago that this little ball of joy and chaos first entered my life. We had matched with a different little boy earlier that day, but the birth mom of that child changed her mind and went with a different family. We matched with "Baby Boy" at 1:00AM and 2250 miles away. This was a bit different from my previous experiences entering into parenting...getting to know the baby for 9 months and being so physically close. We were expected to wait 72 hours until the birth mother legally relinquished her rights. Instead, we had to pay for foster care (yes, we had to pay for it) while we got a lawyer to help us with a legal snafu- the birth mom abandoning the baby at discharge and never returning to sign the documents. “This never happens”, we were told. It turned out to be only the 2nd time in the state’s history, but we were able to obtain counsel and the baby was placed back into our arms (now 3 days old) as a legal-risk placement for what turned out to be 9 months instead of 72 hours. I had a section of hives appear on the side of my neck that week...and Lucas has kept it there for nearly 5 years. He is my greatest joy and stress, the perfect combination of every emotion wrapped up in an adorable package. Knowing the obstacles he might face as a child, we weren’t sure that he’d talk, walk, or be like “other children”. Thanks to the hard work of his family, therapists, and teachers....he has overcome tremendous obstacles already. He is speaking in sentences, can get himself dressed (with a little help), can write his name independently, can read many words, and can fix himself a snack (whether he has permission or not). He finally slept through the night at 4 years old and does sleep through the night 1-2 times/week. Medication has slowed him down, but he continues to need constant care as he doesn’t understand safety concerns like leaving the house, running into the road, or climbing out of windows. Ironically, as a first time mom with Jacob, autism was one of my biggest fears. Lucas has taught me to just flip upside down and see things differently. We may just eat our cake upside down on Thursday, candles unlit. ❤️💛💚

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